How Different Are We?

I read a fascinating book recently titled "When She Was White: The True Story of a Family Divided by Race" by Judith Stone. The book looked at the story of Sandra Laing who was born to white parents in apartheid South Africa. Sandra is significantly darker than both of her parents. Under the apartheid system she was classified as "coloured." Her family fought to have her re-classified as white, which she later was, though she chose to be reclassified as coloured again and leave white society. Her parents attributed her dark features to an interracial marriage in their family history.

One thing that was interesting to me was when the author mentioned how much of our racial differences can be attributed to genetics. About 99.9 per cent of the human genome is identical in everyone. Of the 0.1 per cent that is different, only 7 per cent is responsible for racial differences. I love the way genetics works!

Mixed Race Dolls

I have been searching for a doll that looks like my daughter. My daughter has all sorts of toys and dolls but it is important to me that she has one that looks just like her. I want her to see herself positively everywhere she can, and I think a doll will help to foster a good sense of identity. But it has not been easy! Searches at the store have left me without much to choose from, so I have turned to the web and found a some sites where you can order mixed race dolls.

http://www.blackdollsdirect.co.uk/
http://www.americangirl.com/
http://www.faithandfriends.com/index.htm
http://www.karitokids.com/
http://www.mytwinn.com/
http://www.real-kidz.com/index.html
http://www.groovy-girl.co.uk/

Happy shopping!

Uplifting Words

The following is a quote I have framed and placed in my daughter's room. I think it is insightful and most importantly uplifting for our children who may not always feel right about their place in the world.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
http://marianne.com

Questions and Answers

About once a week, I am asked a question regarding my daughter. Most often the question is "is that your daughter?" Sometimes, the question is not even asked in English. I am still working on a good answer that is not rude, but shows the person what I believe is insensitivity surrounding their question.

Asking me if KeKe is my daughter is fine now, she is young and does not understand. But I wonder what will happen when she is older and does understand. As she grows she continues to look less like me and more like my husband. What if she hears someone ask that question, how will she react? Will it be nothing to her, just a silly question some silly stranger is asking? Or will it be something that affects her emotionally?

One question I do have an answer to. Some people do not want to come right out and ask if she is my daughter, so they ask me "where is her father from?" I simply respond "Canada" It brings me joy watching them try to figure out a question that will get them the answer they want.

What questions are you asked and how do you respond to them? Do you have fun with the answers or do you take them seriously? And do the questions ever end?

Books for Parents

I have compiled a list of books for parents and families. Please feel free to let me know of any books I have missed.



I'm Chocolate You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious
World - Marguerite Wright
Raising Biracial Children - Kerry Ann Rockguemore
Half and Half: Writers on Growing up Biracial and Bicultural - Claudine C. O'hearn
Fade to Black: My Journeys in Biracial America - J. Elliott Lewis
Beyond Black: Biracial Identity in America - Kerry Rockguemore
New Faces in a Changing America: Multiracial Identity in the 21st Century - Loretta Sage Publications
Of Many Colors: Portraits of Multiracial Families - Gigi Kaeser
Tripping on the Color Line: Black-White Multiracial Families in a Racially Divided World - Heather M. Dalmage
The Multiracial Experience - Maria Root
In the Shadow of Race: Growing Up As a Multiethnic, Multicultural and Multiracial American - Teja Arboleda
Does Anybody Else Look Like Me? A Parent's Guide to Raising Multiracial Children - Donna Nakazawa
Are Those Kid's Yours? - Cheri Register
The Voices of Americans: Ethnicity, Identity and Empowerment in Interracial Japanese Americans - Stephen L.H. Murphy-Shigematsu
Skin Color Recognition, Preference and Identification in Interracial Children: A Comparative Study - Wayne W. Gunthrope
Just Don't Marry One: Interracial Dating, Marriage and Parenting - George Yancey
The Interracial Experience: Growing Up Black/White Racially Mixed in the United States - Ursula M. Brown
Black Berry, Sweet Juice: On Being Black and White in Canada - Lawrence Hill

Let's Hear From You

I would love to hear from you. Share your stories and experiences with me. Share any great links you have. Let me know if there are any issues you want to know more about. I will do my best to post it all.

You can send me an email at whosthemommy@hotmail.com

Storing Cord Blood

The storing of cord blood after a baby's birth is an important issue that all parents of biracial and multiracial children should consider. While private storage can be expensive and you may never need the cord blood, public storage has the potential to help many other people.

Cord blood is removed from the umbilical cord and stored after the birth of the baby. The blood is rich in regenerative cells which can then be transplanted into the patient. These cells have the ability to treat the same diseases as bone marrow does, with significantly less rejection. A variety of life-threatening diseases can be treated including leukemia, other cancers and blood and immune disorders.

According to The Journal of the American Medical Association "10,000 to 15,000 Americans each year who need a (bone marrow) transplant are unable to find suitable donors." However, tissue matches for biracial and multiracial people can be very limited. Because tissue types are inherited, patients are more likely to match someone from their own race or ethnicity.

This is something important to consider. From my understanding of this subject, parents (and their family members) will pretty much be unable to donate to their multiracial child. Even if these diseases do not run in your family, there are many mixed race people waiting for donors. When I gave birth to my daughter, we were given information about storing cord blood privately, for our own use. This proved too expensive for us. It was not until after my daughter's birth that I realized we could have stored it publicly for others to use.

For more information on storing cord blood, check out these websites.
www.cordbloodsociety.com (Canada)
www.cordbloodbankofcanada.com (Canada)
www.cordblooddonor.org (United States)
www.marrow.org (United States)