My Ride or Die Kid: True Story

On Halloween night, CJ and I were out with his neighborhood friends, ranging from five to ten years old. In our community, the Disabilities Board has acquired quite a few condos in which persons with disabilities reside and are offered assisted living services. These people are basically self sufficient and most seem to be of sound mine, and are generally very friendly. Well, until Sunday, October 31, I haven't had a problem. So CJ and his little posse of about six kids walk up to this door. The smallest of the bunch, trying to get in front so that he is not left out, CJ rushes around to the front of the group. His plastic pumpkin hits the door. The door abruptly swings open and a middle-aged woman begins yelling at the children. "Who hit our door?" she yelled repeatedly. "Whoever hit our door needs to apologize!"

Terrified, one of the older kids whispers "he did it" as he points at CJ. "But he didn't do it on purpose," he tries to explain. Ignoring the boy, the woman is irate as she continues to yell and intimidate the kids. It was as if they were frozen and afraid to move. I rushed to the door, and I urged the woman to calm down as she continued to insist that CJ must apologize before he gets a treat. Well, I'm sorry but by this time, I was angry myself and dragged my son away as I shouted to the irrational woman that he is only three years old.

Because the other parents were lagging behind and were unaware of the situation I rallied the kids together and waited patiently at the corner until the rest of our group caught up. Meanwhile this woman has changed her tune and is persistently trying to convince me and the other kids to come and get a treat for CJ. I sternly repeated over and over again, "No maam, he's fine. He doesn't need a treat!"

In her final attempt, she says, "Come here little boy, come get your treat." To everyone's surprise, especially mine (laughing as I type), CJ screams in his loudest and most serious voice, "NO MAAM! I DON'T WANT YOUR CANDY! MY MOMMY SAID NO. I SAID NOOOO MAAM!

I was floored. I do not teach my son to be disrespectful (but he did say maam) but she had that coming. It was one of those proud moments for me where CJ stood up for himself, and he stood up for his mommy! I'm convinced, my son is a G! He's got mommy's back. Treat or not, mommy said no!

Halloween or Not?

As we were preparing for the birth of our son, my husband and I had considered not introducing Halloween to our new son. That was rather unrealistic on our part as Halloween is one of the largest celebrated holidays in America, garnering almost $7 billion annually. Neither of us celebrated Halloween as adults, but the more I look back, I think it was selfish of us to want to take away from our son something that we enjoyed so much as children. I remember getting all dressed up in mostly custom made costumes by my mom, and going trick or treating in my community with my parents, brother and sisters, and all of our neighborhood friends. It was a great time! Although I haven't celebrated Halloween since college, I find myself anxious each year as I plan CJ's costume (Year 1: pirate, Year 2: super hero Flash), which may I boast that this year he is also wearing a custom made costume by my mom, his Granny Jane. He will be who I like to call his altar ego, Disney HD's Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil. I can't wait to see him crashing into everything with pride as he is dressed up as his favorite animated character.

The main reason that I stopped celebrating Halloween was the rise of violence. I had decided that I did not want to be a part of the insanity because it was only an excuse for people to act crazy, some committing vandalism and even going so far as committing violent crimes against innocent people. The thought of my child being a victim to another person's ignorance terrified me silly. But as I reflect back to my childhood, I know that Halloween can be a fun and safe time. By all means, with all of the media influences, Halloween has moved away from the spiritual meaning which is the eve to the Christian feast of All Saints, but like anything else holidays evolve too. As parents, we just have to do our best to keep our kid's out of harms way and to teach them that it is all in fun.

So regardless of what people choose to do, no matter what cultural, spiritual or material way, as long as it is celebrated in a safe and happy way, I guess celebrating Halloween is OK with me. 

Mommy Don't Be Mad

Isn't it funny how kids always tell you that they're mad at you, but can't stand for you to be upset with them? Today was a long hot day and I am really sleepy so I am going to keep this entry real short. As CJ and I were getting ready to go to the Pumpkin Patch at Boone Hall Plantation this morning, he decides to run behind me and bite me on my thigh right below my butt. That flesh is really sensitive right there. Before I go on with the story, let me give you a little history. My older brother was a towel popper. I hate towel poppers! You know when you wet a towel, roll it up and pop people with it. It stings like H-E-double hockey sticks! I have a low tolerance for pain, especially sudden, didn't-know-it-was-coming pain. It gives me flashbacks of those towels. Stings, bites, pinches, they drive me crazy! So back to the story, as I plop on the couch, I feel little teeth pierce into my skin. Lets just say I am glad that I have some control over my reflexes, but I was really angry. My face all frowned up, I had a little talk with my son and put him in a brief timeout. I don't think he'll be biting anyone else, especially not me. It was awkward because he has never been a biter. So after his punishment he walks over and turns on the laptop and signs on to Zoodles, one of his favorite sites. He scrolls through the 3 year old options to find this interactive game he likes to play. Its a short rendition of the song 99 bottles of beer on the wall. Before he presses play, he says "Mommy, I am going to play 10 green bottles standing on the wall because it is going to make you really really happy with me." I usually sit and laugh while singing it with him so he figured if he played the song, I would not be mad anymore. It's funny how their little minds work. Now if he can figure that out, he knows better than to bite.

Toddler Sponge Theory

At 3 years old, my son CJ (Chris Jr.) is a sponge. He soaks up everything he sees and hears, especially the profane slips of mommy's sometimes uncontrollable tongue. Oops! No matter how inconspicuous I think I am as I whisper grown up things on the phone, his bionic ears signal in and my exact words are repeated word for word as if they were recorded. It may not be that day, but I can be sure that in the near future, all of my "secrets" will be replayed in a chipmunk-like voice. It's almost as if his senses have been enhanced to pinpoint my faults. Needless to say, I am a work in progress and committed to doing whatever is necessary to be the best mommy to CJ that I can be.

On a positive note, I have been testing my sponge theory, and channeling these supernatural powers of hearing and remembering things. Results: Positive! Each week, I teach CJ words of five letters or more, along with a simple definition. At 3, CJ can accurately pronounce and define a word list that some adults cannot.

These words include, but are not limited to:
1) humongous - something that is very big like an ocean, an elephant, or a dinosaur
2) responsible - to take care of your things
3) relentless - never give up
4) apologize - to say you're sorry
5) concentrate - to think about something very hard or focus
6) suffocate - when you can't breathe
7) patient - to wait calmly
8) proud - to be happy for someone
9) blind - when you can't see anything, and everything is black
10) exhausted - very tired

I usually pull these words from Sesame Street's Word on the Street, or in conversation about something he is doing or watching on television. Upon introduction, I pronounce the word and he repeats it. Then, I tell him what it means and ask him to repeat it. Several times during the week, at least once or twice a day, I randomly review the words with him. He has an arsenal of about 20 words that he can readily pronounce and define. I am so proud of him!

Who's the Mommy?